(no subject)

..So after the dream I had last night, I now wonder which is worse-

Not doing an assignment for computer class or being the prime target in an alien invasion. Hmm..

And right now I have to do laundry so that I have clothes to wear..so meh. I'll write more later.

(no subject)

I'm beginning to wonder if I have an eating disorder. I guess recently I've been really self-conscious about the way I look, and I've gone to eating just one meal a day...and I barely eat anything then. I mean..I eat one slice of pizza and either a small helping of cottage cheese or a bowl of cereal. If the dining hall has something better, or if they're out of pizza, I'll get something else...but a piece of pizza and a small side dish can't be healthy.

But I'm just not hungry...and I'm beginning to wonder if it's something psychological. I mean..I've never eaten this little. Nor have I ever gorged myself..but still..this is not normal for me.

I try not to think of myself as fat, but it's hard when everyone around me is like...95-100 pounds. I mean..I'm still nowhere near plus sizes, but my height along with this extra little bit I carry around just makes me feel pretty frumpy...or something like that. Meh. So I'm not eating, telling myself I'm not hungry.

I could turn this into a rant on how society effects us, telling women they need to be skinny to be happy or loved, but I'll spare you all.

Merf. I also wonder what might be if a few things hadn't happened. Scary. But I'm not going to go into that either.