(no subject)

[katiroth]

Life sucks..big time...I don't know what I want. I want freedom, but at the same time, all I really want is security...but I'm a frickin flirt..I can't help it...I've gotten to be a flirt at school..on-line..everywhere...I want danger and excitement. I CRAVE adventure...I want it badly..but at the same time, I really don't want it. I just want to be loved by someone...

But then again...what do I REALLY want? Do I really want someone to hold me..to love me..or do I really just want to be left alone, to live out this miserable existance known as my life? Dammit, I AM miserable...I don't know what I really want. I even find myself doubting my faith in God..and that scares me. I don't know what to do...

I finally got today what I thought I wanted..and you know...as of right now, it is still what I want. For more than a year, i wanted this one thing..and now I have it...but it ended up hurting someone else beyond words..So now I am wondering if it is really what is good for me. DAMMIT I hate hurting people!

The good things of yesterday are eclipsed by this..

Life sucks.