(no subject)

....twitch.

I had a really nice long post typed up, and of course, lost it. I hate internet explorer with a passion. I should secretly download Mozilla for my sisters computer. It never crashed on me. ..twitch.

Anyway, I'll just type it all up in the morning, when I'm not upset over losing the multi-page post. A stream of consciousness post is always good though......And argh. My sisters computer is Spyware infested! ..I'lll download ad-aware in the morning.



Something needs to be said
before I completely lose it all
something needs to be said
though the thought is maddening
scary
and just plain irritating

Find a chance to be happy, but I still can't let go
of a past that never was
of a future that can't be so.
Damn.
Trying to rhyme again
Just can't get that out of my system tonight
hell, it's late
well..early, and my mind can't be held accountable.

Actually, it can. There is no excuse.
And no excuse for the way I feel.
It's silly. Has to be.
'cause I couldn't bear it if it were real
But then if it's not
why am I so worked up about such a silly little thing?

Not little though.
Can't keep lying to myself.

Let me find this,
this thing I'm looking for
Let me find this love,
this peace and joy.

I can't. Dammit, it's not possible
yet I can't yet give up hope

Yup. Hope. A pathetic thing, really.
Just another way of saying things aren't good.
They're not good.
Yet I'm still me.

And again, making no sense.