(no subject)

..Right now..I don't know what exactly is..wrong. I had a marvelous day..but last night my roommate just...really made me depressed. She didn't do it intentionally, and doesn't know she did..and I won't tell her, but ergh. Anyway, to make a long story short, she had her friend Dustin over for two nights. Last time he was gonna stay, we pulled in the extra mattress from Sam's room, and there wasn't a problem...although that time he didn't end up coming down. ANyway..so this time, no mattress. They shared the bed. Didn't do anything, just slept in each others arms. And..well..merf.

That shouldn't bother me, but it did. See..I am so NOT touchy-feely, but that's kinda what I want. No. Not kinda. That is. *sigh* Just to fall asleep like that. So...eh..yeah. Kinda set me off in a depressed state.


But...today was pretty cool. When Dustin left, he made sure to say goodbye, which was kinda sweet. I was awake, but still in bed, 'cause I'm lazy. And then I just hung out in the room for a while..then headed to work at 6, got home a little after 8, got into my pajamas, then got an IM from Darren, asking if I wanted to get "ice cream." (To those of you who don't know, ice cream is the psuedonym for alcohol)...so I changed back into normal clothes, then we decided not to do such, and went to study by the fountains. That quickly got old, so we ran back to our rooms and tossed our books up, then walked for..several hours. And frolicked on the astro-turf. *cackles* We decided to act totally drunk..even though we hadn't touched any alcohol.

Although...he did explain why he wasn't interested in a relationship. Still too burned out from his last girlfriend. Blargh.

Ingram Hill- To Your Grave

Minutes till dawn, I'm awake stare at the phone,
and I wait - Daylight creeps in, through the blinds
Stron as I've been, well I was lying

But now I've lost control it's hard but I've found my soul

Minutes till dawn, by myself stare at the phone,
short of breath - Search for your face, through the blinds
Said I'm ok, well I was lying

But now I've lost control
It's hard but I've found my soul
Don't need you anymore - Much better on my own

Because I've tried, to say alive, let me lie
This is the last I'll say goodbye

Same as before, I'm to blame
Forever yours, I'll remain
You'll feel my love and my embrace
Take it along to your grave

Well hey, my love, you'll know the shape I'm in
when you feel my love and my pain, 'cause I'll be there

When you try, to stay alive, don't you cry
But this is the last we'll say goodbye- Goodbye

Smarter than you think

I know you're hiding there
hiding behind that mask
Thinking you're so smart
and that I don't know you're there

Oh no, I know you're there
You can see me
And I can see you
You're not hidden so well darling
I'm smarter than you think

Still I wonder what you're hiding from
Then ask myself if I really care
After all, you abandoned me
my life will eventually go on

Change is not always good
not when it comes to you
Now you hide, hide from everything
Taking the easy way out

Where is the person I once knew
who would laugh and cry
and never turn away from me
always being there

Hiding

That's where that person is

Hiding from me
or from the ghosts of the past
I'm not sure which
But I'm past the point of caring.

No
that's a lie spawned from the firey pits of hell
hell, which is how this world feels
when you're not in it

Keep hiding from me darling
maybe one day you'll disappear
swirling into the fading abyss
unwillingly dragging me behind

I see you
And you don't even know
You've moved on, leaving me behind
yet I can see you're here
avoiding me, him, her, them

Coward
that's the only way I can describe you now
running from your fears and from the world
you think you've found the easy way out
but darling, that's not fact

You see
I'm smarter than you think.