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Apr. 30th, 2002 06:39 pmI'm sick...I'm tired...I have to go to St. Louis tomorrow and I will prolly puke...but oh well. It could be worse. Mike could be coming along. He is so frickin' clingy and possessive...plus he's not getting a tux for prom. *grumbles* Yeah, that bugs me a bit. Yes, he has a nice suit..but still...the jerk could have saved some cash ya know! I'm paying for pictures...I'll prolly end up paying for dinner too.
Why am I so stupid, getting into a relationship that is so one sided? And yes...it's one sided on Mike's side. I'm so frickin worthless as a girlfriend. I just know that I'm destined to be alone forever. Yeah, sure I have Max...but still...what are the chances of anything coming out of it? Distance kills everything. Why must my life suck so?
And also, Shawn is the biggest jackass in the world. I know that I act like I don't care what people think, but I do. His words hurt. I know that I am not gorgeous...but I am not ugly either. Yet when someone thinks I am, it hurts so much. ...but does anyone care? Not really. Everyone is too wrapped up in thier own lives to even care about me. And the one who acts like he cares (ie Mike) I can't stand to be around for any longer than a few hours at a time...ot at school, a few minutes.
What is wrong with me? Why can't people understand? I do have feelings. I am not some robot or something that people can just talk about endlessly. Oh wait. They prolly don't talk about me. I'm even below their scorn.
Life sucks dead bears. I am sitting here at the damn computer crying my eyes out...all over something stupid like this. Why does it bother me?
And I just looooooove how after I dissapear from chat I don't even get an IM from Max...
As I said...life sucks dead bears.
Why am I so stupid, getting into a relationship that is so one sided? And yes...it's one sided on Mike's side. I'm so frickin worthless as a girlfriend. I just know that I'm destined to be alone forever. Yeah, sure I have Max...but still...what are the chances of anything coming out of it? Distance kills everything. Why must my life suck so?
And also, Shawn is the biggest jackass in the world. I know that I act like I don't care what people think, but I do. His words hurt. I know that I am not gorgeous...but I am not ugly either. Yet when someone thinks I am, it hurts so much. ...but does anyone care? Not really. Everyone is too wrapped up in thier own lives to even care about me. And the one who acts like he cares (ie Mike) I can't stand to be around for any longer than a few hours at a time...ot at school, a few minutes.
What is wrong with me? Why can't people understand? I do have feelings. I am not some robot or something that people can just talk about endlessly. Oh wait. They prolly don't talk about me. I'm even below their scorn.
Life sucks dead bears. I am sitting here at the damn computer crying my eyes out...all over something stupid like this. Why does it bother me?
And I just looooooove how after I dissapear from chat I don't even get an IM from Max...
As I said...life sucks dead bears.
